We open up to find WWF’s trusty backstage source, Todd Pettengill, standing backstage with the “Seasons Beatings” display behind him. Looking dapper as always, and eager to utilize his master-level skills in investigative journaling, Pettengill takes his cue and off we go!
Todd Pettengill
"Alright fans, welcome back! Standing by now are two men making their long anticipated debuts here tonight. I’m talking about Jeff Jarrett and—"
“Double J” Jeff Jarrett
“WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! Wait just a dang second! That’s J,E, double F, J, A, double R, E, double T…Double J Jeff Jarrett!”
Pettengill raises his eyebrows, accepting correction from Double J.
Todd Pettengill
“My apologies, sir. J,E, double J—"
“Double J” Jeff Jarrett
“Ah hell you screwed it up, I guess they don’t have many requirements for this job, do they? Let ME do the talkin’!”
Without hesitation, Jarrett pushes Pettengill to the background of the shot and takes center stage, where he feels most comfortable.
“Double J” Jeff Jarrett
Ladies and gentlemen, WELCOME TO SEASONS BEATIN’S! My name is Double J Jeff Jarrett, that’s J,E, double F, J, A, double R, E, double T…Double J Jeff Jarrett! Yeah we’ve got a World Title match, yeah we’ve got an Intercontinental Title match, we’ve got a lot of big matches but ain’t no match BIGGER than Double J Jeff Jarrett and The Roadie making their debuts tonight! Roadie, whatcha think?”
The Roadie
“Well let me say it to where even these fans in Boston can understand! No offense to them, they just aren’t that bright and that’s okay. But anyway…it’s like this! The WWF has been in a dark place lately, I mean they just don’t have a whole lot of star power, but all of that is getting ready to change! Jeff, my man, when you walk through that curtain, the place is going to ERUPT!”
Jarrett nods and smiles, imagining the crowd (or, what he thinks the crowd will sound like) when he enters the arena.
“Double J” Jeff Jarrett
“They’ve been begging for a REAL superstar for ages now! They’ve been lost in the dark. They’ve been waiting for someone to come along that they can look up to, that they can have their children look up to as a role model, but this company has been missing a real superstar like that. But as Brooks and Dunn once said, I AM THAT MAN! Finally, I’ve come to give the people what they want! So don’t adjust your television sets folks, we are getting ready to propel the WWF to brand new heights while I take my career in Nashville to unthinkable levels, hahaha!”
The Roadie mouths “WOW!” as he begins to speak again.
The Roadie
“Man, I just have to say, it’s going to be a real honor and privilege to share the ring with you tonight and call you my partner.”
Jarrett pretends to wipe a tear from his eye as he purses his lips and nods his head towards The Roadie.
“Double J” Jeff Jarrett
“Roadie, I appreciate the kind words, thanks a lot! I figured the Von Erich's would be a great tag team for us to go against since they won't be too hard for you to handle, but honestly, when you got Double J as your partner, you ain't got NOTHIN' to worry about, hahaha!”
The Roadie
“Ain't got NOTHIN to worry about!”
“Double J” Jeff Jarrett
“Since The Von Erichs won’t be much of a threat to us, this will be a great learning opportunity for you!"
Suddenly, we hear another voice…oh wait, that's Todd Pettengill standing behind The Roadie and Double J, feeling rejected.
Todd Pettengill
“Uh, hey guys, I’m still here. I actually wanted to ask you about The Von Erichs. They’re also making their debuts tonight. You seem to think it’ll be a cakewalk, but these guys are a very formidable team and both are accomplished athletes. How do you plan on handling them later tonight?”
Jarrett looks annoyed by Pettengill interjecting himself into the conversation.
“Double J” Jeff Jarrett
“Clearly you weren’t invited to this chat, but since you asked, it WILL be a cakewalk, Pettengill. Have you forgotten that I am the world’s greatest singer, AND the world’s greatest wrestler? And apparently I'm the world's greatest interviewer too, but we won't go there. Anyway! When you’re the greatest, everything is easy for you. The Von Erichs are good, but they’re not GREAT like Double J Jeff Jarrett.”
In a dramatic fashion, The Roadie aggressively claps his hands.
The Roadie
“Yes, yes, Jeff! You nailed it, my man! They don’t stand a chance against the world’s greatest!”
Pettengill looks over at The Roadie, who has been overreacting to everything Jarrett has said up to this point.
Todd Pettengill
“Something I haven’t gotten to mention yet is that, while this is your debut match, the stakes are high. The tag team who is victorious in this match will get a World Tag Team Title shot. Thoughts?”
Once again, Jarrett pushes Pettengill a little bit further into the background, clearly craving as much of the spotlight as he can possibly get.
“Double J” Jeff Jarrett
“Oh, I simply cannot wait to stand on stage performing at the Grand Ol Opry with some WWF gold around my waist! I think my buddy Tim McGraw would get a real kick out of it, and I’d imagine that belt would shine like crazy under the bright lights of the Opry!”
Again, The Roadie nods enthusiastically as he grins ear to ear, visualizing what Jarrett is describing in Nashville.
The Roadie
“How sweet would that be! And if I end up with some Tag Team Title gold around my waist, well it’ll be thanks to you, Double J!”
Jarrett smirks, as if he were saying ‘well, obviously’ before Pettengill jumps in again.
Todd Pettengill
“Alright guys, thank you both for your time. It’s sure to be a great match! The Von Erichs will take on the team of these men, The Roadie and Jeff Jarr—”
Jarrett immediately interjects.
“Double J” Jeff Jarrett
“WRONG AGAIN! That’s J,E, double F, J, A, double R, E, double T…Double J Jeff Jarrett!”
Pettengill sighs and shakes his head. As Jarrett and The Roadie chuckle at Pettengill’s frustrations, we’re sent back to ringside for more WWF action! And with that, the scene fades to black. The Roadie and Jeff Jarrett are obviously feeling good about their debuts tonight. While The Roadie is eager to learn Jarrett’s ways, Jarrett is eager to show the world that he is not only the greatest singer, but the greatest wrestler in the world. They’ll need to be careful, however, as The Von Erichs are not a team to be taken lightly.
